Jamais Vu
Chapter III
My days of waking up at noon came to a slow close. I had obligations now and after a month of roaming the town on my own time, I was finally tied down. Some would say I was lucky, others would say I’m a fool for agreeing to something like this.
I did what I had to do. This part of Vallis was nice- heck, it was the cheapest apartment they had without being too close to a ghetto. I was doing just fine working off my savings and the income from a part time job. Murakumo was just a friend with financial benefits. I told myself I'd get used to it eventually- besides, helping him with homework couldn't be that much of a daunting task. It’s not like high school was that long ago.
I rolled over in bed, the blue sheets wrapped up between my legs. I didn’t want to move. I had stayed out just late enough last night that I woke up with a caffeine headache, but I knew a bit more sleep would make me late for meeting up with Murakumo. I took a deep breath before snoozing my alarm one last time, playing over the schedule in my head.
It was simple. Write an essay with him about some required reading, garden the next day, then the weekend was mine. I only had two days to work through until the sweet feeling of freedom was in my hands. Besides, I wasn’t timed on the session with Murakumo at the library. If we got through the work he had to do we did and it was said and done, if we didn’t we could just finish it next week. It was easy. Committal, but easy. No worse than fixing up the flowerbeds at the park.
I hazily made my way out to the living room, my hand dragging against the cool brick walls. It was tradition to open up my window and look out from the third floor on all the people walking by. There was a particularly busy café across the street on the first floor of another apartment building and I found my eyes drawn to all the people in business attire enjoying their lunch break. I’d lean on the cushions against the window and enjoy the view, sipping at my tea pretending I was part of their world. If they looked up at me, even better.
I knew the waitresses’ name with peach colored hair was Vivi since so many people called out her name- she must have been popular. I had no interest in the amount of interaction that came with being wait staff, but I found myself immersed in the amount of affection she seemed to receive. If people requested her, she surely made good money in tips. Her returning customers would forgive her even if she messed up their overly complicated order.
If only I could trade places with Vivi. Would she enjoy being someone so unsure of themselves, that questioned their own name and their own gender? Would she enjoy the days spend gardening and nights spent playing games in the basement of a mall? Would she enjoy trading places with me?
I meandered through the rest of my morning routine, making sure to close the curtains before I left for the library. As much as I wanted the café goers to notice me I feared that someone from the adjacent apartment would and I would be left with an unwanted admirer. That was not the kind of friend I was interested in making.
Murakumo sat across from me in the study room clad in a button up and dark blue hoodie. His hat was placed against the backpack, his black hair combed back.
“I can be serious too, Void.”
“I never said you couldn’t.” I smiled at him, trying to adjust the tone of my voice to sound less confrontational. “All you have is English homework?”
“I need you to read it to me, and I’ll analyze it.”
If this is what being a college tutor was like, I should have applied when I was a student.
We went back and forth as I read Beowulf to Murakumo- it wasn’t my style at all. It was old fashioned in the bad way and failed to pique my interest. My mind bounced between reading him the summary, but I felt like I wouldn’t have earned my money that way.
Cyk surely would have read him a few summaries from a quick online search and called it a day, probably scooping up bits and pieces of someone else’s paper while he was at it. Maybe Cyk knew I was a straight A student and that’s why he recruited me into this scheme. It’s not like finding out I was on the honor roll was that hard if he really took a shot at it.
My throat hurt. I spoke more than I had since I moved reading him line after line of the story. I wandered around the library looking for anything but a dingy water fountain, but the closest thing I could find was a vending machine full of soda. I got two cans for both of us and slid one over to Murakumo as he grimaced at the cold can making contact with his skin. I hoped he liked ginger ale.
After all was said and done, I had a nice typed up paper about an epic poem I read in eleventh grade and promptly forgot about. His words I embellished until we had an essay so dutifully written I prayed he didn’t get slapped with a plagiarism charge from my own works.
“So what did you think, Murakumo?”
“Epic poems aren’t my thing,”
I went to take a sip of my drink, but he took that as me not hearing him.
“It didn’t pique my interest.”
“I’d say the same thing,” I responded. “We have very similar thoughts.”
“Aren’t you glad we’re done with it, Void?”
“That’s really all your work?”
Murakumo nodded and held out his hands for me to give him the hard copy of the story back. “I guess I’ll be seeing you next week then.”
“Are you busy tomorrow? Cyk and I garden on Fridays, you could join us.”
“I have tests tomorrow,” Murakumo sighed. “I wish I could hang out with you guys instead.”
I knew that if he could have been put to work, he would have been out there on day one and my question was redundant. I got up to pack my bag before walking over to Murakumo and holding out my hand for him to shake, but he hugged me instead.
He was small, warm. I pulled him in close, running my hand through his black hair that fell against his shoulders. I felt a weird thump in my chest as I held him for a brief moment. I wanted to ask what that was about, but I didn’t want to ruin the first hug I received in a long time. “See you again, Murakumo.”
I watched him wander into an elevator that took him up to a third floor and I went on my merry way, my face burning from our interaction. Was he like that with Cyk too? I wanted to ask, I wanted to know the intimacy of their relationship.
I texted Cyk. He read the message. I saw the three dots as he typed and put my phone away as I started my walk back home. The library wasn’t that far, and I told myself if I had to go there for Murakumo I’d have to find my way there without a map in hand. Luckily for me I got to walk past the café on the way home, though Vivi was done her shift since the placed closed at six.
I opened up my phone after swiping into my apartment building, seeing only an emoticon with a greater than and less than symbol and two slashes. That was it? He was really in for it tomorrow. Maybe I was the one overreacting- I was touch starved. No one mentioned how lonely it was moving out on your own with no friends keep you company.
I undressed and opened the window for a nice breeze- it was just cool enough out not to be freezing, but it was too warm inside to waste the air conditioning on. I turned the TV on and scrolled through my phone as I laid on my stomach in front of the window, my bare feet kicking back and forth as I curled up on my side.
I hoped Vivi was having a nice night.
The night was far from over for Murakumo. He stood in the white room with the domed ceiling, his hands in his pockets. He couldn’t sleep again. It was nice, almost too nice for him to dream. The sounds were real, the visions palpable. He was always aware when he dreamed- he could see, duh.
He felt around on his desk for his phone before hearing the usual message read aloud. Cyk always asks for me late. Doesn’t he know by now my nightly ritual?
He threw his phone in the pocket of his green shorts and knew his only way out was one that was hazardous. The elevator would work, but it was a gamble if anyone from the library at night saw him leave. The place was open late for students, but he was on lockdown. He sighed before making his way down a back hallway and reaching the door going down the stairs to the tunnels which he learned to navigate on his own after one too many late night outs.
I wonder if it’s like a maze game on the computer. Murakumo thought to himself as he slid his hands against the wall, knowing that he had to make two lefts, go straight past the iron door, and then walk for two minutes before reaching the meeting point. I want to see it one day, I really do.
He knew the doctors spoke of the nerves that couldn’t be repaired, but that didn’t mean anything to him. So what if his nerves were frayed? They were just orbs, right? If he put two in he would be good to go. A fresh pair of eyes from wherever they came from.
His pace quickened as he knew he was getting closer to Cyk’s side of the tunnels, knowing that he would be waiting. He heard the footsteps before Cyk called out for him.
“You know, Murakumo.” Cyk paused, reaching his arms out for the boy. “I can just meet you next time.”
“You say that.” Murakumo stopped short of stepping on the boy’s sneakers. “You wouldn’t be caught dead back at the orphanage.”
“Just you wait.” Cyk grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him towards a quieter part of the tunnel. “I have something better than the melatonin I gave you last time.”
“You mean something that’ll make me dream more?”
“Yeah, something like that.”